


i will hug you

by twoc9pt6ins



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, JiHan, Light Angst, M/M, Seventeen - Freeform, Soonhoon - Freeform, nonAU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:34:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17839040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoc9pt6ins/pseuds/twoc9pt6ins
Summary: Jihoon loves and tries to let go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first soonhoon fic AAAHHH i love soonhoon too much but i was always afraid of writing them HUHU
> 
> just a few things i want to say:  
> 1\. didn’t give a name to the female idol mentioned in the fic bc i really didn’t want to hehe you guys can just imagine someone on your own  
> 2\. this takes place before you made my dawn era since i will be incorporating vocal team’s song “hug” into the fic  
> 3\. please continue to stream the home mv!! daesang let’s go!!  
> 4\. enjoy!!!

“You looked great dancing with her out there,” Jihoon tells Soonyoung after his performance with a girl group member.

“It was great, wasn’t it?” Soonyoung asks him excitedly. “We didn’t get anything wrong and it seemed like the audience enjoyed it!”

Jihoon fakes a smile and faces the other boy, “I’m sure our fans are going crazy over it right now.”

Soonyoung doesn’t hear him nor see the smile he’s planted onto his face because the other members start to crowd and congratulate him.

“Hyung, you were awesome!”  
“Soonyoungie, you’re the best!”  
“As expected of our main dancer!”  
“Congratulations, Hoshi hyung!”

As words of praise fill the room, Jihoon makes his way over to the back. He sits on the couch and takes out his phone, pretending to be busy but putting all his attention on the voices of his members.

“Soonyoung hyung, I heard her members say she’s a fan of yours,” Chan teases Soonyoung. All other members laugh and play along. Jeonghan and Jisoo nudge Soonyoung playfully while Seungkwan shouts, “She probably has no taste!”

Jihoon hears everything they say and with each word retreats more and more into himself. He knows why he’s feeling this way but hates it. He’s stronger than this. He shouldn’t let a silly collaboration affect him so much.

“It’s time to go back on stage!” The managers tell the group as they usher them out of the waiting room. Jihoon stands up quickly and makes his way out of the room first. He knows the other members will continue to talk about Soonyoung’s performance. Seokmin would probably ask him what he thought of it too, so he decided to go ahead so he could avoid it. But Jihoon wasn’t fast enough and a hand closes around his wrist, effectively stopping him from walking.

“Do you want to go out and eat after this? I know you’re really tired but I was hoping you were also really hungry,” Soonyoung asks him with a wide smile on his face.

Jihoon was about to say yes when he hesitates. Soonyoung probably noticed how he kept to himself a while ago and felt bad. Soonyoung has always been too kind so it wasn’t unlikely at all.

“Who else is coming?” Jihoon says instead. At least if there are others coming along, he won’t feel too horrible about declining.

Soonyoung looks surprised at his question but still gives him an answer. “I could ask Seokminie and Seungkwanie if they want to go?”

Jihoon is hurt that Soonyoung never planned for it to just be the two of them but decides it’s for the better because now, he can say no to his offer. “I think I’ll have to pass tonight. I want to get some work done at the studio.”

This time, it’s Soonyoung’s turn to feel hurt. Or at least Jihoon hopes so. As awful as it sounds, it gives him comfort to think he could affect Soonyoung as much as the other boy affects him. “You should ask Jeonghan hyung and Junhui if they want to go too,” Jihoon says before turning away and leaving Soonyoung behind. He convinces himself it’s only because they’re needed on stage already that’s why he left the other boy, and not because he was about to take back his answer. He was desperate to spend time with Soonyoung but right now, he was more hurt over the realization that maybe the boy wasn’t as eager to be with him.

***

The members pile into three separate cars after the show. They’re not divided into units, but rather into random groups. Seungcheol let them choose where they wanted to stay, knowing fully that some would want to rest and sleep while others would prefer to chat and play games. Jeonghan, Jisoo, Seokmin and Chan ended up in one car, while Seungcheol, Junhui, Wonwoo and Minghao were in the other. Jihoon, to both his elation and devastation, ended up in the same car as Mingyu, Seungkwan, Hansol and Soonyoung. He had been trying to avoid Soonyoung for the rest of the night but it seemed like the universe was against him.

“Hyung, did you ask if you could still contact her even though your collaboration is over?” Mingyu asks Soonyoung.

Jihoon wishes his heart didn’t feel like it was breaking as he waited for Soonyoung to answer, but it did. “I finally know what the heartbreak I talk about in songs feels like,” He thinks to himself.

“No,” Soonyoung replies rather happily.

“Why not, hyung?” Seungkwan asks.

“There’s someone else I like,” Soonyoung replies proudly. Jihoon hears, actually hears, his heart break. He knows he’s staring blatantly at Soonyoung but he doesn’t care. He also knows the hurt he’s feeling is probably all over his face but he still doesn’t care. He never thought his member liked anyone. Despite knowing he had no chance at all with Soonyoung, he still found comfort in the thought that the other boy was not interested in anyone. But knowing now that there is someone he likes, all comfort and hope Jihoon felt has disappeared into thin air. Not only does he not have a chance with Soonyoung, he also now has to see him give his attention to someone else. Someone who is most likely a million times better than Jihoon in every way. Jihoon’s mind is brought back to the car when he hears Seungkwan say, “Who is it, hyung?” Mingyu follows it up with a, “Do we know her, Hoshi hyung?” Only Hansol is quiet like Jihoon but it’s only because he’s probably almost asleep.

“I won’t tell you yet. Someday, when the person is ready to hear it, I’ll tell all the members too.” Soonyoung looks so happy and certain that Jihoon’s heart breaks even more, if that’s even possible.

“Alright, but you have to tell us first and not the other members!” Mingyu tells Soonyoung.

“Of course, Mingyu-ya,” Soonyoung reassures Mingyu. “Now, let’s be quiet and let Jihoonie rest so he doesn’t get mad at us later.” Soonyoung directs a sincere smile at Jihoon and waits for him to smile back. Despite feeling like his whole world is crashing down on him, Jihoon looks back at Soonyoung and gives him his best smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for taking time to read this mess waah :(((

It’s been five days since the conversation in the car on their way back to the dorm. Jihoon has successfully avoided any unnecessary interactions with Soonyoung for the past few days. He’s used going to his studio to work as an excuse too many times already and although the members know that he’s really a hard worker, he’s declined enough offers of midnight snacks for it to be normal. He would have tagged along if only Soonyoung didn’t eagerly ask to join each time he’d see Seungkwan or Seokmin talking to Jihoon about it. 

It’s Jeonghan who approaches him first and comments on his clear avoidance of Soonyoung.

“What did you do this time?” Jeonghan asks him.

Jihoon is surprised at his hyung’s assumption that it was him who did something and not Soonyoung. But then again, it really is on him because he’s the one doing the avoiding. Still, he doesn’t admit right away to Jeonghan that his assumption is correct.

“Why do you think it’s my fault, hyung? You’re unfair,” Jihoon says. He throws in a pout and laces some aegyo into his tone as he speaks. Jihoon has always been comfortable showing Jeonghan his childlike side.

“Because, Jihoonie, Soonyoung would never avoid you. He would probably tie himself to you if you let him.” Jeonghan has a point, Jihoon thinks. His hyung’s words fill him with pride and hope. Maybe Soonyoung does like someone else, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like Jihoon too. He pushes the thought right away and tells himself not to cling onto false hope.

“Hyung, I did do something. It’s not good. You won’t be proud of me,” Jihoon tells Jeonghan. Jihoon believes it’s best if he finally confesses his feelings for Soonyoung to someone else so that he can get good advice. He’s tired of just hearing his own advice. Jeonghan is the best person to tell because he’s always listened well to Jihoon and offered him the most sound advice. Also, because Jeonghan would give him even more hugs when he knows Jihoon is going through a hard time.

“Jihoonie, tell hyung. It’s okay,” Jeonghan reassures him. Jeonghan is holding his hand and offering him a warm smile. 

Jihoon gathers strength, looks Jeonghan in the eyes, and says, “I like Soonyoung.”

“Is that it?” Jeonghan asks him, a laugh escaping from his lips.

Jihoon is stunned at his reaction. “Soonyoung’s a guy! More importantly, he’s a member! Why is Jeonghan hyung not alarmed?” These thoughts fill Jihoon’s mind and he voices them out to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan ends up laughing more, and loudly this time. The other members, including Soonyoung, look their way. Jihoon tells his hyung to be quiet so that the other members won’t come near them and ask what they’re talking about.

“Jihoonie, what do you think Jisoo and I are?” Jeonghan asks him.

“Best friends?” Jihoon answers. He’s confused but he’s starting to have an idea of what Jeonghan is hinting at.

“Yes, but do you think that’s all that we are?” Jeonghan asks him again. The older boy seems to know that Jihoon is catching up already but allows the boy to take his time.

“Hyung, are you and Jisoo hyung together?” Jihoon asks, his disbelief displayed all over his face. He never thought any of his members were in relationships, especially not with each other.

“Yes, Jihoonie.” There’s a wide smile and an almost dream-like look on Jeonghan’s face. Jihoon notices that his hyung is no longer looking at him. Instead, his eyes are on Jisoo who’s across the room, playing with Junhui, Seokmin and Chan. Jihoon takes the lull in their conversation as time for him to look at his own object of affection. Soonyoung is in a corner, talking enthusiastically with Seungcheol and Wonwoo. They’re probably discussing the movie they watched last night, Jihoon thinks. Looking at how Soonyoung laughs so openly makes Jihoon happy and sad at the same time. He wishes he could hear and see Soonyoung’s laughter up close again. He misses the boy terribly but his pride prevents him from approaching him. Jihoon doesn’t notice that Jeonghan has stopped observing Jisoo and is now talking to him again until he hears him say, “You should tell him.”

“I can’t, hyung. It would hurt the group,” Jihoon says, sadly.

“You don’t know that, Jihoonie. I had the same exact thought before I told Jisoo how I felt. But I took the chance and believe me, I give myself a pat on the back everyday for it. If I didn’t, Jisoo and I wouldn’t be where we are now. We wouldn’t be as happy as we are now,” Jeonghan tells him.

Jihoon wishes he and Soonyoung could have the same happy ending as his hyungs, but he believes it’s not possible.

“He likes someone, hyung.”

“Do you know who it is?” Jeonghan asks him.

“No,” Jihoon feels dejected.

“Maybe it’s you,” Jeonghan responds. The way Jeonghan says it sounds so sure that Jihoon’s heart fills with hope again.

“You don’t know that, hyung.”

“Neither do you, Jihoonie.” Jihoon doesn’t know what to say to that.

“My point is, Jihoonie, that you like Soonyoung and you know that for sure. Soonyoung likes someone but you don’t know who it is for sure. So you could either gather up some courage and tell Soonyoung how you feel, or keep your feelings locked up and one day you might just see Soonyoung with someone who isn’t you,” Jeonghan says. “I know it’s scary because he likes someone but once he knows how you feel, it’ll change things. Whether it would be a good or a bad change, I don’t know for sure. But what I know is that it’s always better to take a chance.”

“Every time you write a new song for us and the genre is all different and it’s a concept we’ve never done before, you still choose to show it to us and our fans. Even though you’re scared it might not be received well, you know it’s better to give people the chance to decide on their own if they like it or not rather than keeping it hidden in your computer. You gamble, Jihoon because you believe in how you feel about the songs, despite the fear that others don’t.” Jeonghan pauses and looks at how Jihoon is reacting to his words before continuing, “You should do the same with your feelings for Soonyoung. Tell him and let him decide on his own if he feels the same way or not. If you believe as strongly in your feelings for him as you do in the songs you write, then tell Soonyoung. Don’t you think he’s worth the gamble, Jihoonie?”

Jeonghan’s words ring in Jihoon’s ears and stay in his heart. “I wish you weren’t so wise, hyung.”

Jeonghan laughs at Jihoon’s reply and gives the younger boy a tight hug. “I have complete faith that you’ll do what’s best for you and Soonyoung, Jihoonie. You’ve always been second to hyung when it comes to wisdom.”

Soonyoung shouts it’s time to go back to practice and Jihoon tells Jeonghan before they get up and go to position, “I’m really happy for you and Jisoo hyung, hyung.”

“Thank you, Jihoonie.” Jeonghan hugs him again and doesn’t let go until they’re in the middle of the room with the other members. Jihoon doesn’t see the way Soonyoung deflates when he sees him clinging onto Jeonghan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be up by the end of the week probably bc i need to get this week over first HUHUHU
> 
> comments and kudos will be very much appreciated hehe pls fangirl over soonhoon w me on twitter @jihoonjihooff HUHU

**Author's Note:**

> if you guys have any prompts in mind or if you want to be mutuals pls hit me up on twitter @jihoonjihooff *huuugs*
> 
> comments and kudos will be very much appreciated hehe


End file.
